


The Prince's Tale

by ReginaNocis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angry Lily, Bellatrix is Crazy, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Eventual Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, F/M, Good Narcissa Black Malfoy, Good Severus Snape, Insecure Remus Lupin, Insecure Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, POV Severus Snape, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, She always has been, Snape is Forgiven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 04:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaNocis/pseuds/ReginaNocis
Summary: Snapshots of Hogwarts and beyond from Severus Snape's point of view.





	The Prince's Tale

Severus watched her for days before he approached her. He saw her jump off of the swing higher than it should have been possible. He saw her make flowers grow for her sister. He saw her summon birds from her fingertips. He watched her flame-colored hair shine in the sunlight, and her emerald eyes glisten with joy. She never noticed him watching, but he certainly noticed her. So did her sister.

"Tunie, come on! Let me push you at least once," the girl pleaded with her sister, but the older girl crossed her arms and glared. Severus secretly hoped that this would be the day that the sister left the girl alone and just went home. He seemed to finally have some luck.

"It's not natural," she spat. "What you're doing isn't normal and I will no longer take part in it. I'm going home, and I suggest you do the same." And with that, the older girl stormed away. He watched the girl sink to the ground in tears, and then he moved from his hiding spot.

"You shouldn't listen to her," he said quietly, approaching slowly. He knew the girl didn't know what she was, and accidental magic was known to hurt. He didn't want to have to attempt to explain to his father why he was injured. "I think what you can do is amazing."

"Who are you?" the girl demanded, turning angry eyes to him. She didn't move from the ground or raise her arms, though, so Severus knew he was safe. If she were truly scared, she would have moved.

"My name is Severus," he told her. "I live down the road from here. I'm like you."

"How are you like me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I've never met anyone like me before. Mother says I've got a gift. Petunia says I'm unnatural."

"What we are is very natural," Severus corrected. "You're a witch and I'm a wizard. We'll probably be going to school together. Have you gotten your Hogwarts letter yet?"

"What is Hogwarts?" the girl asked. She was frowning, but he could see the hope in her eyes. She so badly wanted someone to like her for who she was and what she could do. He just wanted a friend, someone who wouldn't abandon him or look down on him. It was why he'd been watching her so closely. Her sister hated her, but she never gave up hope that one day she'd change her mind. Severus needed someone like that in his life.

"It's a school to teach us magic," Severus told her. "We go there for seven years, learn everything there is to know about casting spells and making potions, and then we join the wizarding world. My mother has told me all about it."

"My mother must not have gone there," she said sadly. "And I probably won't get to, either."

"There are plenty of muggleborns at Hogwarts," Severus told her calmly. "A muggle is someone without magic. Your sister, for example. There's nothing wrong with them, they just don't understand us. My mother says that muggles are scared of magic."

"My parents aren't scared of me," the girl protested.

"But your sister is," Severus pointed out. "What's your name, by the way?"

The girl blushed, looking down again. Severus sat across from her, hoping to make her more comfortable. "I'm Lily," she said quietly. "Lily Evans."

 

"Severus!" Lily called. She was still quite a ways down the road, running as quickly as she could and waving a piece of parchment in the air. "Severus, it came!" He grinned, holding his own parchment tightly in his hands. He hadn't brought along the extra page stating that his mother's request for financial help had been approved. Lily already knew about his home life, and he didn't feel like discussing it again. Lily threw her arms around him as soon as she made it to him. "We're going to Hogwarts!" He wrapped his arms around her tightly, enjoying the moment.

"Yes, we are. When are you going to Diagon Alley?" he asked, looking at her letter when she held it out to him.

"Oh, right! Tomorrow," she told him. "My mother told me to ask if you wanted to come with us. She says you're always welcome."

"You told your mother about me?" Severus asked, taking a step back. He'd been very careful not to mention Lily to his own parents. They'd taken everything he'd ever cared about, and he couldn't let them take her, too.

"Yes, of course I did. You're important to me, Severus," she replied. He couldn't be angry at her when she didn't know why it was such a big deal to him. And he couldn't explain it without make her pity him. He didn't want anyone's pity.

"I can't go with you," Severus said instead. "My mother is taking me in a week, the day before we get on the train. I won't be able to explain going twice in a way that will make them let me leave."

"I'm sorry they're so strict," she said sadly. "Do you think they'll let you stay with me for some of the summer? After school, I mean."

He let himself imagine how it would be, staying with her. Her family clearly loved her, even the sister who pretended to be disgusted by magic. His own father ignored him on a good day and beat him on bad ones. His mother pretended none of it ever happened, even when she could see it. The bad days happened far more often than the good ones. He could hardly imagine spending even a day away from the life he'd always known. He knew they would never allow it.

"No, I don't think that they will. But I do believe that I'll be able to get away from them long enough to meet you here. This will always be our place," he told her quietly. He allowed her to hug him again, and made himself get excited again. He couldn't drag her into his depressing life.

 

He watched the sorting hat as it was placed on her head. He already knew what house she would be sorted into, and he knew which house he would be placed in, too. He knew they wouldn't be together this year unless they found a way to do it in secret. Slytherins and Gryffindors don't get along, after all. He would be expected to hate her, especially since her parents were muggles. He, at the very least, was a half-blood. He'd survive his house, and she would thrive in hers.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the sorting hat called, and the hall behind them cheered. She made her way happily to her table, hugging the people closest to her and smiling so hard he knew her cheeks would be sore later.

"Severus Snape," the deputy headmistress called, and he took his place on the stool. He met Lily's eyes as the sorting hat was placed on his own head. She gave him a smile that he knew was meant only for him, and he smiled back as the hat made it's decision.

"SLYTHERIN!"

 

"It's not so bad," Lily told him quietly. They'd been meeting in the library every night after supper. "There are some girls that I get along with really well. Marlene and Alice are really nice. I think we'll be friends all through school. Have you made friends?"

"No," Severus admitted. "I haven't really been trying to. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to learn. And besides, I've got you."

"That's very cynical," Lily protested. "There's nothing wrong with make friends while we're here. I know your house isn't exactly what you were hoping, even if you've never expressly said so. I also know that you're underestimating your housemates."

"There's not much to underestimate. The other kids in our year are boring compared to you. I would rather focus on my studies until I can see you every night," he told her. He meant every word, too. He didn't want to get to know Crabbe or McNair. Lily was more than enough for him.

"Severus, will you at least try? For me?" Lily asked, giving him the look that she knew he couldn't resist. He hadn't been able to say no to her yet, and he couldn't do it now. "It's part of the experience we talked about before we got our letters. It's true that we thought we'd be in the same house, but our plans don't have to change just because we're not."

"Fine. I'll try," he agreed, sighing.

He got the opportunity not even a day later. Lily had just left him alone in the library after lunch, and he'd been looking for a book on mythical enchantments to complete his Charm's essay when he came across the boy his age in Gryffindor robes who was asleep at his table. The book open underneath him was potions related, Severus could tell from the picture of vials scattered along the bottom of the page. The boy's dusty brown hair was so thin that Severus could practically see through it. He had bags under his eyes, and he was shifting in discomfort even as he slept. Severus only hesitated for a moment before tapping the boy gently on the shoulder and moving back as he startled awake.

"There have to be more comfortable places to fall asleep," Severus pointed out lightly. "Our exams are still months away, and the potions essay isn't due for another three days."

"Yes, but I still have to finish the transfiguration homework and master the expulsion spell for Defense," the boy said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "But thank you for waking me up."

"You're welcome," Severus replied, and he started to turn away before he remembered what Lily had said about at least trying to make friends. Sure, the boy was a Gryffindor, but he didn't seem that bad. Instead of walking away and forgetting the encounter, he sat down with his own books and pulled out his Transfiguration essay. "I'd be happy to help you, if you'd like. I finished both essays yesterday with my best friend."

"Lily, right? She talks about you in the common room. My name is Remus Lupin. Lily and I study together sometimes in the mornings," the boy replied. "I'd appreciate the help, if you don't mind. Maybe we can all be friends and study together."

"My name is Severus," he told him. "Lily had told me that she was making friends with her housemates, but I didn't know she meant..."

"Another boy?" Remus asked, lips twitching as he fought a smile. "Your secret is safe with me. I like Lily, but not in that way. And by the way she talks about you, I don't think you'd have anything to worry about even if I did."

"You can't ever tell her," Severus said quickly, shocked at himself for sharing something so personal, even if he hadn't said a word about it. He'd never intended to tell anyone, not even Lily, about the feelings he had for her. He couldn't risk losing her friendship.

"It's okay, I won't," Remus assured him. "Now, about that homework?"

 

The year ended with a bang, quite literally. The parting feast was interrupted by some fairly advanced fireworks set off by a mysterious group of pranksters that signed their names with sparks at the end of the display. 'With love, The Maurauders' was flashing in purple and gold for a good five minutes before the professors got it to fade. It was all anyone could talk about on the train ride, but Severus knew exactly who had done it. He'd helped with the research to find a spell for lasting wand sparks. He couldn't believe that Remus had lied to him about why he'd wanted to know that particular spell.

"They're in our year," Lily was telling him, her eyes alight with excitement. "I've heard rumors that they're going to continue with pranks all of next year!"

"They're a menace, Lily," he told her, frowning. "What if someone had gotten burnt by the sparks?"

"No, see, McGonagall was talking to Flitwick about that when I went to talk to her about my exam. Whoever did it used a spell to make sure the sparks couldn't actually cause any kind of fire. Nobody could have been hurt at all, except whoever made them to begin with. I want to know where and when they found the time and space to practice that!" she shot back. "There are so many possibilities with that spell! Somebody had to have modified it, which means they're well on their way to becoming spellcrafters after school!"

"Or going to Azkaban, or killing themselves in the experimental phases of their pranks. What if next time something goes wrong, or they don't test it right? They're going to seriously injure someone," Severus snapped. He immediately felt bad as he watched her face fall.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she agreed. "I just thought it was an interesting way to think outside the box. I always thought magic was supposed to be fun, but all we're learning are defensive spells and household charms. I want to make teacups dance, or learn how to conjure my own shooting stars."

"Those are just advanced spells. I'm sure we'll get to them later," Severus rushed to assure her. "And we'll be taught how to do them safely, so that we're not hurt."

"I guess you're right," Lily sighed. 

 

The following year started quietly, with Lily, Severus, and Remus picking up where they'd left off. Severus avoided being alone with Remus, because he was still upset over being lied to about the fireworks, but he'd never said a word to Lily. Remus had kept his secret, and he would keep Remus's. The betrayal he felt meant nothing at all in the grand scheme of things. 

The first change came three weeks in. Severus got back to the common room later than usual, after listening to Lily complain about a James Potter who wouldn't leave her alone. ("He keeps saying we're destined to be together, and that I don't know what I'm missing out on. I really want to hex him, Sev.") Three of his classmates were waiting for him, which had never happened before.

"Snape, we need to talk," one of them, a tall blonde boy, told him. 

"You're spending  _far_ too much time with that Gryffindor mudblood," the girl, who he recognized as Bellatrix Black, added. Her sister, Narcissa, nodded. She was clutching the blonde's arm, and though her head was held high, Severus could see the insecurities in her eyes. She didn't feel like she belonged with this group. Severus could understand the feeling.

"Who I spend my time with is none of your concern," he told them, trying to go around to get to his bed. The blonde, Lucius Malfoy if he wasn't mistaken, immediately stepped into his path.

"That's where you're wrong. Your house is your family, after all. And we, as your family, would like you to stop seeing that mudblood and the halfblood who follows her like a lost puppy. It's not a request," he told Severus.

"Yes, it would be a shame if something were to... happen," Bellatrix crowed, giggling to herself. "She seems like such a nice girl."

"You wouldn't dare," Severus said confidently, trying to look much less annoyed than he felt. "You'd be expelled and both of your families would disown you. Family is everything to a Black, is it not?"

"Someday you'll be sorry you said that," Bellatrix hissed. 

"Now now, Bella, let's leave the boy be," Lucius smirked. "Accidents tend to happen when we least expect them. Do keep that in mind, won't you, Severus?"

He watched them walk away apprehensively. He'd heard whispers about students in the Slytherin house with less than ideal opinions about muggleborn witches and wizards, but he'd never seen any sign of confirmation until just then. It both bothered him and intrigued him, not that he would admit to either. It didn't help that Lily wasn't waiting for him in the library after supper, either. Remus was at their usual table alone, and he smiled tiredly when Severus sat across from him.

"We can't keep doing this, Severus," Remus said quietly. "Lily is in the common room with James, but he's going about it the wrong way. He's been trying to impress her through pranks that she doesn't even know he's causing. I'm starting to worry about the amount of time he and Sirius spend watching the two of you together. Whether you'll ever tell Lily of your feelings or not, James sees it now. He'll go out of his way to destroy what you have so that he can have a chance with Lily. And he's asking me to choose."

"And you've come here today, without Lily to overhear this, to tell me that we can no longer be friends," Severus said flatly. He wasn't sure if he was feeling anger or betrayal. He hated it either way.

"No. I came here without Lily to tell you that you need to tell her how you feel. She's not interested in him, and I'm not interested in choosing between my friends. I've already spoken with James about it. I won't involve myself in whatever war the two of you start. I'm Switzerland," Remus replied. At Severus's confused look, he explained. "Switzerland is a muggle phrasing, meaning that I'm impartial and won't choose a side."

"I can't tell her," Severus said quietly. "She is my friend, nothing more."

"I think you'd be surprised by what would happen if you told her. I don't think you see the looks she gives you. Severus, I think she feels the same for you that you feel for her. You were her first friend, the person who introduced her to magic. She's told me all about it," Remus replied.

"I'm not surprised. The two of you have been closer this year. Will you ever tell her that you come up with those idiotic and dangerous pranks?" Severus shot back angrily. 

"I don't come up with them," Remus told him calmly. "I do the necessary research to make them safe and easier to carry out."

"So you're the brains behind the fireworks last year," Severus said quietly. "I didn't want to believe that you would use me for that. I didn't want to believe that you would hide something so big from me. You didn't even tell me that you had made friends in your own house. I wondered why we'd been seeing less of you. Lily wouldn't tell me."

"Because you're oddly possessive of your friends," Remus pointed out.

"I only have two!" Severus snapped. "I don't care who you're friends with or what you do with others. I care that I was lied to and used for something that could have potentially hurt so many people." 

He left the library without another word, and he didn't go back for the rest of the year. He and Lily communicated through notes, and he claimed to be too busy helping his housemates to meet up. He didn't have another conversation with Remus until the following year. By then, Remus had fully been accepted as a Marauder, and he had joined Potter and Black in making Severus's life a living hell.

 

"If I have to hear Potter call my name one more time, or... or try to rhyme it with random words, I'll hex him!" Lily snarled, clenching her fists angrily. They'd met in the astronomy tower on their third day of their third year to talk. She's said it was urgent, that she couldn't wait any longer to tell him something very important, and he hadn't had the strength to say no. "He's horrid, Severus!"

"If ignoring him isn't working, you could always speak to a professor. They'd be more than happy to put him in his place," Severus suggested. 

"I hardly think that would help. Every rejection seems to give him more ideas, and more resolve. Do you know what he told me today?" Taking Severus's frown as an answer, she stepped closer to continue. "He told me that there's not a single person in this school who would be better for me than he is. As if I should believe that! He actually mentioned someone by name, someone he claims would love nothing more than to have me but would never admit it."

Severus's throat felt dry, and he found it very hard to look away from Lily's eyes. She held his gaze intensely, and he didn't recognize the expression in her eyes. It felt intense, almost too much so. "And who would that be?" She smiled, assuring him that it had been the right thing to say. She moved closer still, until she was practically touching him. 

"He seems to believe that  _you_ have feelings for me, Severus," she said quietly. Severus wasn't sure what his expression had become, but it must have been enough of a confirmation for Lily, because she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his in a barely-there kiss. "Why wouldn't you just tell me?"

"I couldn't risk losing you," Severus admitted hoarsely. "I care for you too much."

"Oh, Severus, you could never lose me," she told him, smiling gently. "Even if I didn't return your feelings, you're still my best friend. I would never abandon you."

"And do you?" Severus asked, unable to stop himself. "Do you return my feelings?" She answered with another kiss.

 

 Halfway through his third year, his housemates suddenly took more of an interest in him. Bellatrix and Narcissa Black made a point to sit with him at meals, and Lucius Malfoy brought him slowly into his group of friends. Rebastian and Rodolphus Lestrange started teaching him spells that he wasn't learning in his lessons, and Mulciber and Dolohav gave him books that their fathers had passed on to them. And it was in that year that he was introduced to a man named Tom, a man who was slowly gaining support for his formerly unpopular opinions. 

_We're destined for great things. Purebloods have led our society in the past, and we will do so in the future. For too long now, muggles and mudbloods have been allowed to corrupt our world with their beliefs and laws. It's time we took a stand. Muggles should not have a place in our magical society, and neither should their offspring. Any child of muggles who is born with magic should have it removed at the first sign. They are a danger to our world. We all know what would happen if the muggles found out about our existence. All it would take is one non-magical sibling to expose us to the muggle world. We would be executed, burned alive, if we were discovered. They should fear us, if only because we are better. We have never condemned them._

Severus could understand most of his points, even if he didn't agree with them. Lily was muggleborn, and she was perfect. So while he didn't agree with them completely, he did listen, and he offered support for the points he did believe in. Lily noticed.

"There's been talk of a group of Slytherins going around trying to get all muggleborn witches and wizards eradicated," she told him one night. "I'm a bit concerned, Severus, because the rumor is that you've joined their group."

"I've made friends, that's all," Severus assured her. "I don't share or support those beliefs, but I do like having people in my own house who accept me and like me."

"And while I think it's great you're finally making friends with your peers, I don't know that they're right for you. You're so good, Severus, and they aren't," she said gently.

"I don't get angry with you for being friends with Marlene McKinnon when everyone knows she's dating Black. You've seen how they treat me. This whole school laughs at me. Is it so wrong that I wanted to have friends on my side?" he asked, frowning. 

"I'm sorry," she said after a few moments of silence. "I wasn't trying to insult you. I'm just worried about you."

He listened to her, something he was never sure if he regretted or not. He avoided the group for several weeks, claiming illness or exhaustion when they tried to get him to join in on discussions. He still sat with them at mealtimes, but he stayed silent and just listened. Lily rewarded him with smiles and kisses, and she seemed to be avoiding Marlene in return. He'd even heard her in passing yelling at Marlene and who he assumed was Alice for using the Marauders' new nickname for him. 'Snivellus' wasn't as insulting as some of the things his own father had called him, but it still hurt to hear.

 

"She's happy," Remus told him. "And I can tell that you are, too. Look, I know you don't like me right now. I know that what I did in our first year was wrong, but it was two years ago. Our third year is ending, and I want to go back to how it used to be. I miss you."

Severus could tell how much that admittance cost him by the looks Potter and Black were throwing them. Remus was risking a lot to reach out and try to restore their friendship. Severus also knew that his housemates were watching and waiting for him to make a decision. Their threats from the previous year were still heavy on his mind. He'd hidden his relationship with Lily from them for this long, but he wouldn't be able to continue that if he publicly made friends with Remus Lupin. He knew that Remus knew that, and yet he was still trying.

"You know why I can't do this," Severus said quietly, so that the audience couldn't hear them. Remus gave him a sad smile. "I want nothing more than to be friends again. I miss you too. But I can't put her in danger. I can't put either of you in danger."

"If you know they're so dangerous, why do you still tolerate them?" Remus asked, keeping his voice lowered, too. He seemed to understand the importance of not being heard.

"Your house is your family," Severus recited. "Dumbledore said it at the beginning of our first year, and it's been repeated to me many times over the last few years. You don't know how much I wish I could have been in any other house, but the fact is that I'm a snake through and through. And you're a lion. We were never meant to be friends."

"You don't believe that, or you never would have made friends with Lily," Remus told him. "You knew her first, but even I know that she was always obviously meant to be a lion."

"And I have always been a snake. Maybe for once in my life I wanted to pretend I could be something more," Severus whispered, keeping his face clear of emotion. "I have nothing more to say to you."

 

Fourth year started with the announcement of the Yule Ball. While traditionally held only during tournaments, Dumbledore wanted to bring a little light into the school to drown out the darkness in the world outside. The war had officially begun, with Tom renaming himself Voldemort and slowly gaining control of the wizarding world. While Severus still didn't agree with most of his views, his housemates wholeheartedly did. He had to become a very good actor to survive, and that meant spending even less time with Lily. Their meetings were reduced to a few times a month instead of a few times a week, and he'd been noticing that she was spending more time in Potter's company, and she seemed far less annoyed about it. He met Remus's eyes across the hall more than once, but he didn't want to see the pity on his former friend's face, so he always quickly looked away. 

Three weeks in, the Black sisters got a letter from their mother announcing their betrothal contracts. Andromeda was to marry Rebastian, Narcissa was to marry Lucius, and Bellatrix was to marry Rodolphus. All three daughters were to marry into influential families. The whole house was talking about how good this would be for the 'Dark Lord'. It didn't last more than a day before Andromeda Black announced that she'd been seeing muggleborn Ted Tonks for three years, and that they planned to marry when they graduated that summer. As she was already seventeen, her marriage contract was void. 

"Mother is furious," Narcissa told Severus. "She always knew that Andie wasn't a good example for our family, but we all assumed she'd grow out of it. Father used to say that rebellion was natural for children. He was always surprised that Bella and I never fought back."

"As a halfblood, I can't even imagine what it must be like, to have so many expectations," Severus admitted. "I never had such pressures. But I can say that I understand what our Lord means about muggles being volatile."

"Your father is a muggle, is he not?" Narcissa asked, frowning sympathetically.

"And a horrible man," Severus agreed. "He believed he could beat the magic out of me, and when that failed, he attempted to kill me. My mother died protecting me, and my father killed himself shortly after. I live with my grandfather now, but he pretends I don't exist."

"I should think that's better than being beaten," she said quietly, still frowning. "But I can't begin to imagine how either feels. Even with all the pressures of being pure, I have a loving family. And Lucius has been wonderful, even before we found out we are to be married. I know that I can grow to love him, as I know Bella can grow to at least tolerate Rodolphus."

Bellatrix had been honor-bound to marry Rodolphus, but she hadn't agreed easily. She spent a full day speaking ill of her intended, until she received a second letter from her family informing her that she'd have no say in the matter. She still hadn't agreed fully until she got word from their 'Lord' saying that it would please him greatly if she would go through with the bonding quietly. Bellatrix was scarily obsessed with Voldemort. 

"And what of me?" Severus asked. "My grandfather will never see fit to arrange a marriage. Even if I wanted to fit in with your society, I fear my chance has long gone when my mother never stepped in to teach me what she knew."

"I believe it will all work out in the end," Narcissa told him calmly. "You have us, now, Severus. Our Lord will find you a match if your grandfather cannot. You are accepted and loved by your true family. Is that not enough?"

He couldn't tell her about Lily. Even though Narcissa was the most accepting of all of the Slytherins (minus Andromeda, though she was hardly a Slytherin and old enough to not be involved with their group), she wouldn't have approved of his relationship with the muggleborn. He was starting to wonder if it was worth being with Lily if he could never be with her openly or completely. She deserved better, someone who could show everyone how much she mattered, how special she was. She deserved a lion, and he was only a snake. 

"Of course," he agreed easily, ignoring the thoughts for now. The conversation drifted, moving on to things concerning the war, and he happily let it happen. 

 

"Who will you ask to the ball?" Lily asked casually, picking at the hem of her skirt. They'd already discussed how dangerous it would be for the two of them to go together. Lily understood the thin line he was walking in his own house, and she feared for him. She didn't seem to have any problem with keeping their relationship secret, but Severus was waiting for the day that she'd realize she could do so much better.

"Narcissa has suggested I ask Gianna Zabini. Apparently, she's a very quiet third year pureblood who hasn't been promised to anyone yet. Ever since the Black sisters received their news, they've been obsessed with finding me a worthy match," he replied quietly. 

"And do you like her?" Lily asked, keeping her tone casual. Severus saw right through her; she was afraid he'd choose someone over her. He didn't know how she could ever think that.

"If it would make you happy, I would ask you to the dance right now. You have to know that you're the only one for me," he replied, frowning. "Gianna is fine, but she's no you."

"I'm not sure I'll be going to the dance," Lily admitted. "And I don't want you to endanger yourself by asking me. Play your part, invite a pureblood, but promise me one thing."

"Anything," Severus immediately agreed.

"Promise me that you'll meet me right here, in this very room, as soon as the ball ends," she told him with a smile. "We will have our own dance. It will be a night that neither of us will ever forget."

"I promise," Severus told her, sealing it with a kiss. 

The ball was not nearly as fun as Dumbledore had made it seem. There was a band, but they only played classical music. Severus had invited Gianna Zabini, as Narcissa had suggested, but the girl didn't want to do anything other than sit at their table and watch the other couples dance. The dress she'd chosen was a royal blue satin, but she had done something to it to make it dull instead of shiny. Severus sat with her in boredom to watch as Lucius twirled Narcissa, who looked elegant in her silver gown. Even Bellatrix had dressed up, her Slytherin green gown shining in the candlelight. Lily had not shown up, and Severus was disappointed that he wouldn't get to see her in this setting.

"I'm ready to go," Gianna announced after two hours of not moving from the table. "I'm tired and we've got exams next week. Thank you for inviting me."

"But the dance has hardly started," Severus protested halfheartedly. Gianna gave him a pitying look, not moving from her seat.

"Severus, let's not play this game. You're a brilliant student, I've seen your potions marks. You're just not very sneaky, as a snake should be. I won't tell anyone, don't worry, but don't pretend you don't have somewhere else to be and someone else to spend your time on," she told him quietly.

"What?" Severus asked, sure that his panic was showing on his face. He only hoped that his friends didn't look over to see him in this moment.

"Relax. Lily Evans is a lovely girl. I'm nothing like your friends. I won't judge her for her family. She's brilliant, too. Her charms work is better than anyone else in this school, excluding Flitwick. And as much as it pains me to say, I don't think you should drag her down. The road you've chosen doesn't match hers. You're destined to part ways, sooner rather than later. Why not make it amiable?" Gianna replied.

"Are you a seer?" Severus snapped, annoyed that she'd stuck her nose in his business.

"My mother has seer blood, which means it's likely that I do as well, yes," she said with a small smile. "I haven't had any clear visions. It's mostly dreams that I can only remember glimpses of, and feelings I get when I touch hands and objects. But it doesn't take a seer to know that this will never work for you. You're not meant to be with her."

"And I suppose I'm meant to be with you?" Severus asked, crossing his arms. There was no way he'd let that happen.

"I only see darkness for you, Severus Snape. You don't have a clear future, but she isn't in any of the paths I've seen for you. For what it's worth, I do hope that I'm wrong. And you should go before you're too late," she told him, patting his shoulder as she rose and moved out of the hall fluidly. 

Narcissa caught his eye as he stood, and she looked sad for him when she realized his date had left him behind. He gave her a small wave to show that he was alright and that he was leaving, and she nodded before turning her attention back to Lucius. He didn't notice that someone else was watching him leave the hall, and he wouldn't have cared even if he had.

Lily was waiting for him in the astronomy tower, exactly where she'd told him she'd be. She was wearing an olive green dress, with her orange hair tied up in an elegant knot at the back of her head. She greeted him with a kiss and drew him into the candlelit room so he could see what she'd worked so hard to create. The room had transformed into a gorgeous bedroom.

"I want you to know, Severus, that I'm yours. I'm yours in every possible way. I don't know what the future holds, but my future has you in it. And to show you that I mean it, I want tonight to be about us. Everything that I have, everything that I am, is yours," she told him in a whisper against his lips. Very few more words were spoken that night.

 

Severus Snape's fifth year was the worst year of his life. It was worse than the year that his father spent trying to starve him to death, or the day that he found his mother dead in her own bed. 

It started out perfect. He and Lily were together every night, and for the first time his housemates didn't say a word about his absence. Gianna had started a rumor for him, claiming that she'd caught him in a broom cupboard with a fourth year Ravenclaw, and his house had accepted her word as fact. He had thanked her with a book on how to interpret dreams, and then proceeded to ignore her pitying looks. He should have listened to her.

It started three months into the year. Remus kept disappearing for three days, then coming back looking weak and bruised. It had happened every year, but this year just seemed so much worse. Severus was convinced that he was being bullied or worse, and he was determined to help his former friend. Just because they hadn't spoken didn't mean that he didn't care. He was sure that Remus knew that, and yet...

He stopped him on their way out of transfiguration that month, the day that he came back with more bruises than usual. Remus looked tired and annoyed, but Severus didn't let that stop him. "Remus, what is going on with you?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Remus said tiredly. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get to potions." He tried to move away, but Severus stopped in his path.

"I know that we're not close anymore, but we used to be. You can tell me, whatever it is. I want to help you," Severus said quietly. 

"It's not something that can be helped," Remus snapped, and he turned and went the other way. Severus started to follow him, only to be blocked by Sirius Black. He expected Black to taunt him, or even to hit him, but when he looked up he saw the first genuine expression of concern that he'd ever seen on Black.

"Follow him," Sirius said quietly. "It'll happen around the tenth of next month. Follow him, and maybe you can help him. He won't let us."

Severus spent the days leading up to the tenth trying to decide if he wanted to trust Sirius Black or not. On the one hand, Black and Potter were notorious for their jokes and pranks. On the other hand, Remus was their closest friend. If there was something hurting him, Black may have decided to find an alternative way to help him. In the end, he decided he needed to know. Even if Black meant to prank him, following Remus would get him the information he wanted. 

Of course, nothing was ever that simple. He met with Lily in the astronomy tower the night of the tenth, intending to go straight from there to the infirmary where Black had told him Remus would be leaving from at exactly nine. He should have known that Lily would see through him.

"You're so distracted tonight, Severus. I feel like I could tell you that I didn't hate James anymore and you'd just nod your head and not say a word," she said, frowning. He didn't hear her, of course, too busy focusing on what he'd have to do to remain unseen. She huffed and snapped her fingers in front of his face in annoyance, finally gaining his attention. "What's wrong with you?"

"Has Remus been okay today?" Severus asked instead of answering her question. The look she gave him was odd, calculating and guarded. "I just noticed that he's not been around as much the last few days, and I was concerned. He's our friend as well, after all."

"You haven't had a conversation with him in months. He told me that he reached out to you and you walked away. Why are you suddenly interested in his well being now?" she asked, still frowning.

"I never stopped caring about him," Severus said quietly. "We couldn't be friends, but that doesn't mean I want him to be ill or hurting."

Lily studied his face for a long time before she decided to answer, obviously choosing her words carefully. "He's been sick," she admitted. "It started yesterday. Peter told me it's just influenza, nothing to worry about. Madam Pomfrey will have him better in no time."

"Haven't you noticed this happens on a monthly basis? Lily, he comes back after bouts of illness like this with bruises and injuries. He always looks miserable. It got better at the beginning of the year, but that only lasted for a couple of months," Severus pressed, scowling. "It's not just a simple illness, it can't be!"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore!" Lily snapped. "You haven't cared about him in years. I don't know why it's suddenly your business, but you're hurting him and you're hurting me."

"Lily..." Severus said, not sure where to go from there. He'd had no idea he was bothering either of them with his sudden worry. He wasn't even sure why he was worrying to begin with. Remus had chosen his friends, and Severus had done the same. He understood why Lily would be hurt, caught in the middle. And she didn't like Severus's friends any more than she liked Remus's.

Not much more was said between the two that night. Lily was in a bad mood from the questions about Remus, and Severus was still trying to decide if following Remus would be a good idea or not. Hadn't he caused them all enough pain? But if he could help Remus, if he could stop the pain for even just one month, he had to try. He owed his old friend that much for abandoning him. He used the disillusionment charm he'd just learned to hide in the shadows outside of the hospital wing, and he watched as Albus Dumbledore himself escorted Remus out with Madam Pomfrey. She stayed in the doorway, watching the two go. Severus gave them a head start, and then followed. He stayed far enough back that he couldn't be detected, but he never lost sight of them. He only hesitated for a moment when they reached the front door. 

He watched Dumbledore immobilize the Whomping Willow, watched Remus give the headmaster a shaky smile before climbing through a small opening that Severus had never seen before, and stayed in place when Dumbledore made his way back to the school. Only when he was sure the headmaster had truly gone inside did he remove the charm so that Remus would be able to see him. 

Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Severus made his way down the secret passage, recognizing immediately the Shrieking Shack as he came out on the other side. He saw Remus sitting in the corner, not looking at him. He saw the moon appear from behind the clouds outside the window. When he looked back at Remus, he was startled to see the beginnings of a transformation that he'd never imagined he'd witness in person. Remus Lupin, the friend that he'd abandoned, was a werewolf. He had two seconds to process that knowledge before the wolf was snarling at him. He vaguely registered someone shouting his name, and then James Potter was in front of him, shoving him backwards. Sirius Black ran past, giving him a glare before transforming himself into a large black dog. He didn't get to see anything else, being forcefully shoved down the passage by Potter, who was still shouting for him to move before he was killed. They broke through the end past the Whomping Willow, but that was as far as Severus made it before he lost consciousness. 

 

Two weeks later, and he still hadn't spoken to any of them. Remus had tried more than once to corner him, but Severus had mastered the disillusionment charm and was very good at avoiding. He was avoiding Lily as well, and hadn't seen her since that same night they'd argued about Remus. She hadn't tried to seek him out. He was trying to convince himself that it was for the best. He was sitting under an oak tree with his potions homework, trying not to think about exactly that when Potter and Black confronted him.

"Levicorpus!" Potter called, flicking his wand at Severus before he was close enough to be noticed. Severus immediately shot up by his feet, his robes hanging down around his head. His bottle of ink had fallen directly on his parchment, completely ruining the essay he'd been working so hard on. That made Severus more angry than the attack itself.

"What are you doing, Potter?" Severus asked, voice dripping with disdain. "I don't have time for this today."

"What, Snivellus, no time for fun?" Black sneered. "We thought you'd enjoy this, since you seem to enjoy being in danger." Potter started flicking his wand up and down, bouncing Severus in place lazily. 

"We have very different definitions of fun," Severus spat. He knew that his friends were watching, probably trying to decide if they should intervene or not. He hoped they didn't; not only would they do it violently, it would encourage Potter and Black to try again in the future, in a more painful way. He didn't know that Lily had been trying to find him, nor did he see her approach. He was too busy trying to find a way to make it seem like he had everything under control so that nothing would happen. He didn't want anyone to get hurt, least of all himself.

"James Potter, you put him down at once! Leave him alone!" Lily shouted, red-faced with anger. "He's never done anything to you!"

"As you wish, m'lady," James smirked, canceling the spell so that Severus would land in a heap, head first. Lily hurried over to see if he was hurt, but it was only his pride that was injured. He was still trying to find a way to make Bellatrix stay with her sister; he could see her reaching for her wand. He would tell himself later that it was the only reason he said what he did. There was no other excuse, no other way to make it okay in his head.

"Don't touch me!" he snapped, loud enough for everyone in the courtyard to hear. "I don't need help from a filthy mudblood."

As soon as he said it, he knew what he'd done. There would be no taking it back, no making it better. He wouldn't have Lily anymore, and it seemed likely that Remus would also never speak to him again. He had just ensured the exact future Gianna had predicted. He didn't even feel the pain when Lily slapped him, nor did he feel it later when Potter broke his nose. He didn't feel anything else for a very long time.

He didn't feel anything else until his seventh year, when he stood in front of the self-proclaimed Dark Lord and took his mark, promising his loyalty and his future to the same darkness Gianna had predicted would rule his life. 


End file.
